She'd never dreamt it would be like this.

The thought filled both minds as the ritual phrases guided the first tentative tendrils of the bond together. She had never understood but now...now, understanding spilled forth freely as Koss' mind opened to hers and hers to his.

T'Pol had experienced the touch of another mind on a number of occasions, her eidetic memory easily allowed her to recall the meld she'd unwillingly had forced upon her but, just as easily, it summoned the recollection of the childhood betrothal ceremony with Koss. Without any concentration, she could recall the aged priestess murmuring the ritual phrases as the ceremony was performed. She remembered the tentative brush with his thoughts that had faded so quickly and seemed so faint she had thought it long gone before she'd ever reached adulthood. From all of this, she had considered herself in possession of ample evidence upon which to base her opinion of the marriage bond.

It had not been nearly enough and she had been so very wrong.

"T'Pol, parted from me and yet never parted..."

Dimly, she was aware of the words being audibly spoken but that sound mattered not. The words, the very purest essence of them, had already been shared between them.

As had so much more.

The bonding deepened further still and all she was lay bare to her husband's perusal. Instinctively, T'Pol's subconscious mind attempted to shied away, protect her memories of Enterprise and all that had transpired there, but the gentle mindtouch of Koss halted the action. None of it was secret between them any longer. Even in the deep of the meld, T'Pol's breath caught as she realized her response was without cause. The expected rebuke never came. She felt Koss reach for her within their minds and the tenderness of the action left her reeling.

So this was what they meant. This was the Vulcan heart, this was the Vulcan soul, the primal essence of their existence. The bonding of two. Sharing feelings as though they were one mind. Her emotions were his, his were hers and, in all that was passing between them, when it came to what had happened, she found only sadness.

It was an emotion that neither would ever put voice to but she recognized it nonetheless. He felt sorrow at her pain and her sadness. In all their devotion to logic, science, and knowledge, the Vulcan people had not learned enough to understand. Through her, he gained his understanding and she felt the tinge of regret that it was an understanding he could share with no one else. It was theirs.

Not ready. For all she'd learned and understood and experienced, Vulcan was not ready and, for this, they mourned.

"...and always touching and touched..." Even as she spoke the words, T'Pol gained new appreciation for them. As Koss had witnessed and explored her memories, she was given free access to his. His mind was hers to explore and hers to examine and what she found both amazed and confounded her.

She saw herself at the betrothal ceremony, coltish with wide, curious eyes and felt the sense of wonder that Koss had felt. Remembered him testing her name in his mind, on his lips, the name that would follow him throughout his childhood.

She was surprised to find pride over her accomplishments. Particularly, a great swell of it when word of her assignment to Enterprise reached Vulcan. Koss had known her dreams and the pride in her achievement of them was something he held dear, deep within the recesses of his own heart. Pride so entrenched it shamed her. As did the memory of the confusion and hurt that her letter's arrival had brought.

'No, my wife,' the thought came from so deep within herself that T'Pol thought it was her own at first. It took the space of a heartbeat, however, to realize it was Koss. Somehow, it was not an unsettling realization. 'There is no shame in this, no guilt, and no regrets.'

There was a sense of amusement as they agreed, as one,

'There is no logic to it.'

It was true, there was no logic in it and she felt from him no regret, no recrimination and, at the thought of her feelings for Trip, no jealousy. It was illogical to feel jealousy, the situation being what it was, there was no need to indulge in so petty an emotion.

Once, before Surak, Koss might have ripped Trip's heart from his chest. Challenged him for the sheer pleasure of watching him die, his human strength no match for a Vulcan male in the prime of health. Once that would have been so but the Vulcan way had changed much in the intervening millennia. It was no longer rooted in such emotion. The Koss she'd bonded herself to saw her feelings, accepted them for what they were, and that was that. They were hers, whether they could be changed or not mattered little, and he acknowledged this.

Parted from me and yet never parted, forever and always touching and touched.

Over the millennia, the words had changed and been altered and changed again but the intent and the meaning remained the same. As unshakeable as the Vulcan soul.

T'Pol felt the old man's hand lifted from her face as he broke the meld, leaving behind the bond strong between husband and wife. As it had been from the beginning.

She marveled at the change, the newness of her existence and watched Koss do the same. Knew intimately what he was thinking, could feel his presence in the back of her mind. A constant.

Fascinating.

Simply and quietly the words were spoken, "It is done."

'Poorly chosen words, my wife...'

T'Pol lifted one brow, considering, then nodded once in agreement. They implied an ending and it was not of endings that she wished to speak. Or to learn. It was of beginnings and discovery...and change.

 

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